Not ready to give up or let go, but it looks like I’m gonna just have to. I’ve done all I could do..
— One Tree Hill
I don’t really know what to do anymore. I’ve been in this idgaf mentality for so long, and it was hard to change. I have this habit where I kinda self sabotage because I’m afraid of getting hurt again, and that’s exactly what I did with you I guess. It’s hard for me to explain to people, let alone you which is probably why you still think I didn’t care. You scared me. Not because I thought you were an asshole, but because you made me want to be serious with someone. I haven’t felt like this in over a year, since my first heartbreak. Getting serious with someone is something I haven’t been able to do since. This past week I tried harder then I ever have before, but it was also too late. Yeah it hurts that you kinda gave up on us, but what really gets to me is that you don’t even care. Your just going on with your life like what happened between us doesn’t even phase you. It hurts knowing that I’m struggling to be okay with everything, and you can just forget about me like it was nothing. I finally decide to settle down, and I get left behind. It’s ironic because everything you said about being different, and how I could trust was all a lie. Maybe not necessarily a lie, but you definitely didn’t do that for me. You put me back into the place that I was trying to get out of, and you were the guy I thought never would.
